Few places in the United States have the allure of the northern part of Michigan's lower peninsula in the summerti - stop. Stop that. Stop laughing; I'm being serious right now.
History has been indifferent to the travails of the Grand Traverse region over the years. First there was the fur boom. Then there was the fishing boom. And the logging boom... All of these booms went bust, of course, for one reason or another. Or several.
In the process, the people of Michigan lost their white pine forests, and their abundant schools of whitefish... But, in this most recent boom, they have come up with white wine. Or is it "white whine"? Let's see.
In a very small place (Village? Hamlet?) called Old Mission Peninsula, Michigan, there exist six thousand souls, and eleven wineries. Also in place is the obligatory miniature system of government, to keep all those wild Northerners in line.
As co-beneficiaries of the Booze Boom, wineries and breweries have combined their endeavors with those of the local farmers. Now, farmers are in this for the money. If they can make more money growing grapes and hops than they can growing corn and soybeans, they're happy to do that.
And with 11 wineries in one small geographical area... Win-win. (Oui, oui.)
That is, until the tourists showed up. Buses teeming with garishly dressed people who want to eat and drink, use the bathrooms, and spill some money across the counter. They do not come to look at the barns, or marvel at the vineyards, or smell the soil. They come to get drunk, okay?
Some people might get very subdued and quiet and whispery after they've had a few. Most do not. Especially when they are on vacation. They want to kick up their heels. Cavort and frolic. And, without even playing cards, some of them want to dance.
This offended the farmers, and the locals, many of whom are related to the farmers. Those folks probably don't tour the wineries, or take too much interest in the vintners at all. I mean, you know, a lot of them came from elsewhere, and are just looking to make money off the tourist explosion. Ride the boom, like before, until the last tree has been cut down.
The local government, drunk on power as much as anything else, listened to their constituents - knowing that it only takes a handful of votes to flush them out of office. They passed all manner of rules, ordinances, set lists, menus... Okay, maybe not the menus, but they're basically not letting tourists enjoy themselves at the wineries. They wanted their gaggle of golden geese to be seen, not heard. Weddings? Parties? DEEJAYS?
So, being what they are, they did what they did. And the vintner's did what they were probably taught to do when they were growing up. They got a lawyer. The lawyer sued Old Mission Peninsula, and a federal judge down here in the big city of Kalamazoo ruled in favor of the rich and powerful. No surprise there!
The monetary judgment was staggering. $49 million to the plaintiffs. From a cleared-out spot in the fields with tax base of 6,000 people.
The government, not used to losing, threw a hissy fit and said they would have to sell off beaches, parks, even the Town Hall itself (!) in order to satisfy that judgment. The attorney for the wineries said that's all just bluster, meant only to vilify his clients. And he's probably right.
So, from my vantage point, I see no good guys here. I can't stand with the wealthy landowners; that goes against my Irish heritage. There should be no sympathy for the townies, for they are the ones who voted in their own worst interest (a common occurrence in that part of the state). I absolutely can't side with small government - they're horrible. And the wineries, well they made out like bandits, didn't they.
As for the tourists, the raw oxygen that is feeding this conflagration, you can't blame them because they don't care. They just go where everybody else goes.
Plus, they'll be back for the Fall colors, the bubble that never bursts. After that the trees will be bare, and Northern Michigan can go back to being what it was when the first explorers found it:
A frozen wasteland.
And all will be quiet again.
pH 8.18.2o25
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